You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
