No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize