i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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