i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
