What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
