I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
