your room smells of hookers.
And success
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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