Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
