whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize