Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
