dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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