david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
