you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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