the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
