well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm at about main and main street
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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