It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
