You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
