If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Redeem this text for a blowjob
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
