dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
