Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
