Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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