They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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