my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
