I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
