Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
