was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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