I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize