everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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