Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
