dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
