How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
