just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
