Yo dont text me then not text me
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
