Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
