she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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