Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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