I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
