I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
