Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
