What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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