from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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