Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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