I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
