I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
