Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
