singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
