We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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