dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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