you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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