clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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