u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
