We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's shark week go big or go home
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
