You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
