fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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