Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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