They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize