Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
