...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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