when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
