taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
