Me too!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
