its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
