i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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