Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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