I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
They have beer where we have blood.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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