No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
