She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im holly from the hills drunk
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
