i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
