Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
