love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
