Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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