no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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